Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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