either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
