Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
