Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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