Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
