My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
