How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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