the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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