I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize