Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
