where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
