Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
