Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize