But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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