epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
