Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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