Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
