I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
