I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize