Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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