I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize