Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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