And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
