Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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