ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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