i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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