So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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