even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
