There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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