Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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