How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
