Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't think brook has ever known best
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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