you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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