The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
