Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
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