they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
