white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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