Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
