Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
