I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
