In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize