I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
