Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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