Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The air taste purple.
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