party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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