Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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