there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
