So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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