Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize