1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
