fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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