Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Don't make out with my wife yet
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
