I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
