mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
false alarm. still invincible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
