we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
