i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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