i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
