So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
