TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
