Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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