See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
