Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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