I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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