So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Blow job season was short but glorious.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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