sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
