i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
