shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
